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Monday
Jan032011

ISSUE # 53.... sANTa's Coming!

'Twas the start of the season, when all through the town

The skiers were happy, with nary a frown.

So much early snow, we revel in the stuff

Opening Day gave us a foot of good fluff!

 

But the year has been trying, as one would expect

It's Aspen, where taxpayers get no respect!

Mick runs the city as if he were king

He tries to keep us from knowing a thing.

 

But The Red Ant is here to shine a bright light

On hypocrites, secrecy and budgets not tight.

The games, they continue, but it's really quite fun

To unearth the stories, sparing no one!

 

Burlingame housing, good grief -- here it comes

You won't believe the estimated sums!

They're spending a fortune with costs sure to soar

If they ask for a dime, Aspen voters will ROAR!

 

A young Times reporter covered the tale

Of Instant Run-Off Voting: how it was destined to fail.

He truthfully covered the saga and foes

Of the '09 election: problems everyone knows!

 

The city didn't like how they were portrayed,

Times editors were berated in a Mick-Worcester raid.

They tried to make amends with propaganda and lies,

But the reporter said "Later, I'm through with you guys!"

 

The Hydro Plant was exposed as lots of green hype

They're spending a fortune on unneeded pipe!

It's all a big plan to bypass the Feds

Inviting the lawsuits everyone dreads.

 

The hospital bond passed in a very close vote

So they're rushing to issue the $50 million note.

But this will not cover it, the funding's not through

They'll be back for more soon - this is only Phase 2!

 

Is "The Given" historic, or is it just old?

CU wanted to sell it but then they were told

It can't be torn down, it's part of our past.

I say hurry, bring in the bulldozers -- fast!

 

The "blue roofs" are rotting; all moldy and wet

Those subsidized wonder how much they'll get.

But the taxpayers paid for the place to be built

And won't pay the repairs - won't do it, no guilt!

 

$84 million to spend and to waste

They passed the budget with little talk and much haste.

Council assumptions, based on who knows just what

But according to Mick, not a thing can be cut.

 

Daily News owner Danforth got popped at the store

He says he won't shop THERE anymore!

(They charged tax for a newspaper, the New York Times

He argued and got busted for trespassing crimes.)

 

The community plan is a joke and a sham

If it is to pass, we're all in a jam.

We are not commies, we want to stay free

Let's get rid of this thing - the AACP!

 

Aspen's cultural programming sets us apart

And now we can celebrate contemporary art.

The building design is a sight to be seen

Looking to open in 2013.

 

City Manager Barwick, the incompetent bore

With his new contract, he does less for more.

But raises for employees, what's council thinking?

The boys can't think clearly - Mick's kool-aid they're drinking!

 

The city can't account for nearly half a mil

But they're throwing more cash at the recycling center still.

Seems the "off the books" deal with a developer failed

And as a result, the taxpayers got nailed!

 

The Wheeler is one of our best local jewels

With the city in charge, it's a big house of fools.

The shows, they are costly and subsidized each year

Earned income to expenses, declining - oh dear!

 

$2 mil for the basement, it's leaky and wet

What about the millions it gets from the RETT?

The endowment is cushy: millions, what for?

But the city likes taxing property owners more!

 

Aspen's parking department admitted a goof

Seems parking tickets here are really a spoof.

4500 tickets have never been paid

That's a quarter-mil in revenue disregarded  -- not made!

 

Where is George Aldrich, he's been missing for weeks?!

This isn't the season a snowboarder seeks!

Please let me know if you see him around

His family really wants George to be found!

 

Historic Preservation:  it's still a big fight

It's up to council to make this thing right!

Those 60's houses -- it sure could be scary

 If the city makes "HP" involuntary!

 

Local paraplegic Amanda Boxtel walked

With the help of "eLegs," 12 hours she clocked.

The technology provides  a wonderful chance

At the rate she is going, Amanda will dance!

 

Construction in Snowmass became an architectural dig

They found mammoths and mastodon - we're talking big!

The bones, they are ancient, and there might be more there

The museum in Denver will remove them with care.

 

CPR saved the life of a tennis playing ace

Ed Zasacky was gone but his friend knew the pace.

A skill for us all to practice and show

Ask "Un-dead Ed" --  I'll betcha he'll know!

 

A record number of voters went to the polls

7500 from our voter rolls.

Tommy Clapper deserves a raise of the glass

His endorsement of Ittner was nothing but class!

 

There's another election coming up in the spring

Good changes for Aspen, let's hope these will bring!

They ask me who's running but I haven't a clue

But you can sure bet I have a theory or two!

 

Mick, Dwayne and Steve, it's their turn to run

If all three run for mayor, it will really be fun!

It's easy to show not one has a clue

And with only one winner, we'd get rid of two!

 

I hope that the field will be filled with new faces

Giving Aspen a slew of good candidates and races!

I'm starting a PAC sometime early next year

So look for the Ant to shift into high gear!

 

Let's stick together and continue our quest

We all love it in Aspen - it's simply the best!

We have much to celebrate as 2010 ends,

Holiday blessings to you, your family and friends.

 

 

 

 

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Please share your thoughts and comments!  I want to hear from you!

Elizabeth Milias  TheRedAntEM@comcast.net

 

Correction: The Red Ant strives to be accurate in all facts contained in its commentary, and conducts extensive research and interviews to do so.  However, unintentional and inadvertent mistakes do occur.  In Issue #52, it was noted that county P&Z member Marcella Larsen "owns a number of TDRs that, under the new AACP stipulations, stand to become more valuable than ever."  In fact, she does not own any transferrable development rights.  Rather, her family negotiated perpetual vested rights for other real estate holdings, specifically, property on Richmond Hill.  On the unique deal, according to Marcella, "This land use approval served as a model for what the county does now through its TDR program."  The Red Ant regrets the error.

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