ISSUE # 43 .... Aspen's Public ServANTs Run Amok

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits" --  Albert Einstein

THEY LOST UNDERPANTS??

Readers of our local papers nearly choked on their morning coffee last week when both fish-wrappers lead with bold headlines on the results of a recent independent audit of operations at the Aspen Police Department.  It seems that over 75% of randomly selected criminal cases proved to have had errors in the collection, cataloging and preservation of evidence!  Weapons, drugs and cash could not be found, nor could a couple of mini-skirts and a pair of undies.  No joke.

Auditors call the error rate "unusually high."  Ya think?  The Red Ant calls it sloppy, irresponsible and unacceptable.  But not surprising.  The APD, after all, reports to our esteemed city manager, Steve Barwick, who continues to demonstrate his ineptitude and lack of management capability.  (Never mind council recently rewarded Barwick with an employment contract worth $170,000/year -- see Issue # 41:  ObservANT of City Hall).

The audit was ordered by police chief Richard Pryor, in his third year in the role.  (It seems that a recent case prosecuted by the D.A. was compromised by APD evidence management problems.)  Apparently this is the first audit in APD history.

In addition to completely overhauling the evidence procedures, auditors recommend that the APD get accredited with the Colorado Professional Law Enforcement Standards.  It would not only reduce the cost of police insurance for the city but would also demand high standards of our police force.  (Scary to contemplate the existing standards, isn't it?)  While The Red Ant gives kudos to Chief Pryor for this open and transparent effort to improve the APD, the hesitancy to expedite this important accreditation because its adoption "might not jibe" with the APD's "traditionally unique style" is nothing short of outrageous.  You're the police!  Serve and protect, remember?  Get over this "unique style" B.S.! Law enforcement should not compete with Boogie's on style points!

SAVE THE SLICE!

While the APD takes independent steps to potentially improve itself, council takes steps to squash entrepreneurship and protect select businesses.  Who knew that Torre, our one-named tennis-teaching man-about-town councilman, was a Keynesian economist?!  The Red Ant was certainly surprised!  Flummoxed by the inception of Frank's (a food cart that serves hot dogs, bratwurst, chicken sausage and lobster rolls at the corner of Mill and Hyman), which was recently issued a business permit by the city, Torre led an effort for council to scrap Aspen's food cart program entirely.  Not only does he not see how food carts and Aspen "mix," he also worries that the young proprietors' new venture might take business away from New York Pizza.  What?  So now council makes policy decisions on whether or not their favorite late-night pizza joint might be challenged?  Puh-lease!

Not only do food carts have strict compliance requirements with environmental and health regulations, they must also work out of a licensed kitchen and have the blessing of adjacent property owners.  In the case of Frank's, those neighbors include an art gallery and a fur store.  Torre doesn't like that at all.  "That doesn't work out well," he lamented to the Aspen Daily News, adding nary a word about healthy competition and that "messy vitality" that our local government so regularly espouses.

In addition, Torre is quick to point out that Aspen has plenty of low-cost food options.  What?  Wasn't it just two summers ago that council was so concerned with a decline in "locally-serving businesses" that they mandated one!?  (See Issue # 4: Welcome, Chairman Mao's Diner.)  So do we or don't we?  Or does council just want to prop up the businesses of their friends and thwart the efforts of newcomers?  Get back to work on the real issues, guys.  (Do you even know what those are?)

It's only a matter of time before Torre the Keynesian brings TARP and bail-outs to Aspen's restaurant scene.  After all, New York Pizza is simply too tasty to fail.

SPEAKING OF AUDITS ... HOW 'BOUT ANOTHER?!

Hmmmm.  The Red Ant wonders just how APD Chief Pryor managed to commission that approximately $5500 audit.  (The city is not fond of outside audits.)  Given the poor results, this further demonstrates why the city is not only loathe, but fighting tooth and nail to prevent an independent audit of its 2009 municipal election.  If the police department can have such problems, just imagine what's being hidden in the city clerk's office!

It's already been shown that city officials know how Aspen citizens voted.  This violation of state and election laws is just the tip of the iceberg.  For one thing, it's likely been the case for many, many years.  But that's not all.  The city is fighting Marilyn Marks in court on her open records request to examine the scanned ballot images in order to test the interpretation software. They're in deep-bandini with the District Attorney who is looking into the very complex issues concerning violations of state law, election law and Aspen's municipal code -- and will determine based on the findings whether or not criminal charges are in order.  Also, the election commission (that notably has equal power to council) has collected numerous citizen complaints and allegations against the city clerk including: making special "early voting" arrangements for some (not all) citizens, not requiring that voter ID's be checked at polling places, using an uncertified voting system, ignoring the tabulation of write-in votes, and conducting a non-anonymous ballot election, among other negligence.  The election commission is currently wading through the deep and treacherous waters of election mismanagement claims while council hopes these will all disappear (or at least be swept under the rug) when they place a "keep vs. repeal IRV" question on November's ballot.  Right.

Working feverishly at the behest of council (including mayor/lawyer-who-has-barely-practiced, Mick), city attorneys Worcester and True are laboring to defend the city clerk against all of the negligence and mismanagement claims -- at taxpayer expense.

There is a very simple solution.  Conduct an independent audit.  That's all.  Just do it.  The results will be embarrassing.  But then admit, apologize and make changes to correct the mistakes so they don't happen again.  If the APD can do it, so can the city clerk.  Then begin to rebuild the public's trust in our municipal elections.  Until then, city leadership just looks guilty.  Really guilty.  They're fooling no one.  Remember Queen Gertrude in Hamlet?  "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." 

(NOTE:  The upcoming primary on August 10 and election on November 2 are thankfully coordinated by the Pitkin County Clerk.  This is entirely different from the kangaroo court in the clerk's office at Aspen's City Hall.  For more information, visit www.pitkinvotes.org)

THE RED ANT SUGGESTS:

Despite this weekend's chilly reminder that we live at 8000' and the weather is indeed mercurial, summer has finally arrived in our fair little city.  The annual Food & Wine festival is upon us. And as you dust off your hiking boots, get air in those bike tires and sharpen your garden shears, The Red Ant wishes to remind you of several wonderful Aspen summer sights and sounds, treats and traditions that are not to be overlooked in what is always our shortest season:

• The most beautiful patio in Aspen is at Cache Cache.  Nobody's outdoor dining has such a setting, and the flowers there are simply the best around.
• The Garden Terrace at the Hotel Jerome has a list of wines by the glass that alone warrant a stop at Aspen's crown jewel.
• Don't forget to pick up "The Salad with Chicken" to-go from The Big Wrap and enjoy a picnic on a bench along the mall.
• There's nothing like an iced cold lemonade on a hot day from Paradise Bakery.
• Get there early for a happy hour drink along the sidewalk at LuLu Wilson.
• Yay! The Red Onion is back!
• Enjoy breakfast outside at Main Street Bakery - it's always worth the wait!
• Aspen's Saturday Market begins Saturday, June 19.
• Hang out with coffee at Peach's, on Aspen's "see and be seen" corner at Hopkins and Galena.
• Don't miss Aspen's old-fashioned 4^th of July Parade, at noon.  Salute our vets, wave to kids on the floats and laugh out loud at the preponderance of Pugs.
• Before July 18, take time to experience the Aspen Art Museum's "Restless Empathy" exhibit - an eight-artist exhibition on view throughout Aspen.
• There is no better way to spend an afternoon than with wine and cheese on the lawn at the music tent.
• Re-visit our treasured Victorians with an early evening walk through the west end.
• Make at least one "loop" through the Hunter Creek Valley while the wildflowers are in bloom.
• Refresh with "grown-up" lemonade at Ajax Tavern.  (Yes, The Red Ant likes her lemonade!)

How can summer in Aspen not make you smile?  Let the fun begin!  Enjoy!